Being with difference: Parenting experiences of gay adoptive fathers
Item
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Title
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Being with difference: Parenting experiences of gay adoptive fathers
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Identifier
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d_2009_2013:439cd4c85968:11524
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identifier
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12014
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Creator
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Vinjamuri, Mohan Krishna,
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Contributor
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Mimi Abramovitz
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Date
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2012
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Language
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English
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Publisher
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City University of New York.
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Subject
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Social work | LGBTQ studies | Gender studies | Individual & family studies | Social psychology | adoption | child welfare | fatherhood | gay men | heteronormativity | LGBT families
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Abstract
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Increasingly more gay men are becoming parents or desire to become parents. Families headed by openly gay fathers live in environments that are still largely homophobic and heterosexist. This study describes the challenges, opportunities, and rewards gay adoptive fathers experience at home and in their communities. In-depth phenomenological interviews were conducted with gay adoptive fathers from 20 families (18 gay couples and 2 single gay men). Fathers adopted children through both domestic and international routes. The children of the fathers ranged in age from 9 months to 22 years. Using a social constructionist lens and descriptive phenomenological analysis, themes within each interview and across interviews were identified.;The men in this study became parents in a society dominated by the beliefs that all children need a female mother, gay men cannot and should not be parents, and homosexuality is morally wrong. Their parenting stories illuminate social landscapes dotted with evolving attitudes towards gay parenting, structural inequities against LGBT communities, and entrenched beliefs about gender, sexuality and family. While some fathers worked with adoption professionals who challenged these attitudes and advocated for same sex parenting, many fathers regularly encountered heteronormative biases in the adoption system.;When asked what it was like to parent as gay men, fathers explained that in many respects their day to day experiences were very similar to those of heterosexual parents, and particularly to other adoptive parents. At the same time, they often faced reminders at home and in public spaces that they were not part of a heterosexual order. From sidewalk to airport, hospital to playground, classroom to cafe, gay fathers and their families drew attention. Fathers regularly encountered questions and comments about the nature of their family. They had to decide if and how to explain themselves or correct others' assumptions, while modeling honesty and pride about their families to their children.;Research on families headed by same sex parents has largely focused on the "impacts" gay and lesbian parents have on children's social, emotional and psychological adjustment and the degree to which their families are similar to families with heterosexual parents. The stories shared in this study move beyond such questions and dive into the heart of being with difference and the meanings difference has for gay fathers, their children and those around them. The fathers provide a vivid picture of their emotional bonds with their children and the strengths and resiliencies they and their children develop living in environments that are largely homophobic and heterosexist. With the information provided by this dissertation, practitioners can challenge heteronormative biases in social work practice, education, and public policy. By revealing the insidious ways heteronormativity "shows up", the results prompt social workers to investigate their beliefs about gay male sexuality and intimacy, the primacy of the heterosexual nuclear family, and conventional notions that a child needs both a female mother and a male father. The father's experiences raise provocative practice questions about nurturing and child rearing. The stories urge practitioners to investigate complex and taken for granted notions about gender and parenthood, and help them engage more sensitively with families headed by same sex parents.
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Type
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dissertation
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Source
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2009_2013.csv
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degree
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Ph.D.
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Program
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Social Welfare
